Wednesday, April 11, 2007
I don't wanna go to class or even meet my students in the corridor...
...because the little monsters keep making me smile. Something funny (bad funny) happened to the nerve that goes to my upper left teeth last week and now it hurts to expose them to anything slightly chilly - even classroom air. But! this has made me realise just how smiley my students make me. Even when I am trying to be grumpy-not-showing-teeth-lady.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Oki again!
I went back to Oki last weekend. It was lovely. The weather the first day was awful but after that the island turned on two such gorgeous days that it was hard to tear myself away.
I spent the first night at Setsuko's big beautiful house out in Tsudo and it was good to get some quality time with her, then on the second night I went to the farewell party for Kamada and Kuroda, two of the teachers I worked with last year at Saigo Minami.
It was really lovely to see folk again, but almost without exception, everyone who hadn't seen me since last July told me how much I have changed. The most common descriptor was tough. I have (apparently) now become really tough. When asked to elaborate, they also came up with more confident, more energetic (and seemed to relate this to me having lost a bit of weight by not needing to warm myself with chocolate-and-peanut-butter-goodness all winter). I puzzled over whether this was just because they only saw a happy me making to most of time with friends who I miss a lot, or whether I really have changed.
And I think I have.
When I was on the island I was never bored or lonely like I have been feeling lately, but I was very alone. And being alone makes you rather introverted. I thought too much about what was going on in my head and I kind of lost the ability to guess (as one must for everyday interaction) what was going on in the minds of those around me (also they like, think in like, Japanese and stuff, so it is kinda tricky to mind-read). As Helen said it "there are some days when you just don't smile." And it is true, not because you are sad but just because you are weirdly calm.
Or something.
Anyway. I think what I am getting at is I spent a lot of time this year wishing I was somewhere else. Whenever I was frustrated at school, or uncomfortable in social situations, or lonely, or hungry for tasty Japanese dishes, I wished I had never left the island. But I don't think I have changed for the worse, so the me that has been missing that life is not the me who would be living it had I never left. I spend a lot of time living in a future that never comes to be or a present that isn't. It is time to take the advice of that great sage of Aurora Illinois, Garth: "It'll never happen man! Live in the now!" I shall try. Um and I shall also try to give a little thought to that fast approaching future of not being in Japan.
With that load of self involved soul-search-a-rooney. I shall leave you all and take off to Taiwan.
Mwah-ha-ha-ha.
I spent the first night at Setsuko's big beautiful house out in Tsudo and it was good to get some quality time with her, then on the second night I went to the farewell party for Kamada and Kuroda, two of the teachers I worked with last year at Saigo Minami.It was really lovely to see folk again, but almost without exception, everyone who hadn't seen me since last July told me how much I have changed. The most common descriptor was tough. I have (apparently) now become really tough. When asked to elaborate, they also came up with more confident, more energetic (and seemed to relate this to me having lost a bit of weight by not needing to warm myself with chocolate-and-peanut-butter
And I think I have.
When I was on the island I was never bored or lonely like I have been feeling lately, but I was very alone. And being alone makes you rather introverted. I thought too much about what was going on in my head and I kind of lost the ability to guess (as one must for everyday interaction) what was going on in the minds of those around me (also they like, think in like, Japanese and stuff, so it is kinda tricky to mind-read). As Helen said it "there are some days when you just don't smile." And it is true, not because you are sad but just because you are weirdly calm.
Or something.
Anyway. I think what I am getting at is I spent a lot of time this year wishing I was somewhere else. Whenever I was frustrated at school, or uncomfortable in social situations, or lonely, or hungry for tasty Japanese dishes, I wished I had never left the island. But I don't think I have changed for the worse, so the me that has been missing that life is not the me who would be living it had I never left. I spend a lot of time living in a future that never comes to be or a present that isn't. It is time to take the advice of that great sage of Aurora Illinois, Garth: "It'll never happen man! Live in the now!" I shall try. Um and I shall also try to give a little thought to that fast approaching future of not being in Japan.
With that load of self involved soul-search-a-rooney. I shall leave you all and take off to Taiwan.
Mwah-ha-ha-ha.
An ode to teachers
I have been meaning to post this for a week, the lion thing (which was a page from the text book as hilariously mis-copied by one of my first graders with a d-b recognition problem) was just supposed to be a stall. So.
Another school year has finished. I am now on holiday.
In the final week of school we had graduation. I think I described the ceremony last year but I will do a quick recap. It is cold. And long. We spent about a week preparing to farewell the third graders, kids were making cards to give to leaving students from their clubs, making decorations for the classroom and rehearsing marching in and out of the hall for quite some time. On the day before we made the gym fit for the ceremony by meticulously measuring the distance between rows of chairs with a big tape measure. I kid you not. Since I was playing with the brass band this year I felt a lot more involved than I did at any of the ceremonies I dropped by for last year, But it had been weeks since I had had any real contact with the 3rd graders and I didn't really feel swept up in the graduation hysteria that was gripping the school... until the final parade.
After the ceremonious ceremony stuff. After all the students have gotten their certificates and bowed at all and sundry. They walk thorough the corridors while the remaining students cry, hug, take photos and thank them for their leadership and support over the past year or two. I had photos with a bunch of my kids. Some of whom I can remember the names of - others who have a nickname in my head they don't know about. And I was sad to have them go. They may not have been the easiest class I ever worked with, or the most enthusiastic, the friendliest or the smartest, but they were a good bunch who have now been dumped out of their comfort zone and out into the big bad world. And I will miss them.
The third year teachers took it pretty hard, as I guess they always do. They have worked with these students for three years and teachers here are far more involved in the life of their students than teachers back home. If a student is missing class, the homeroom teacher will visit their house. If a student is having any sort of trouble anytime, anywhere it is the teacher who is responsible. At the enkai, (the graduation after party) the homeroom teachers all talked about their time with this interesting bunch. It was amazing to hear just how much they cared for these kids who often to me didn't seem to care particularly about their own education. When the teachers watched the video messages from the students, there was hardly a dry eye in the house. Watching the ratbags sincerely thank the teachers for their patience and perseverance really helped me to understand what it takes to be a teacher, I think.
I am in awe of people who can care so much about their work and put so much of themselves into their job. Teachers get a lot of respect here, but they earn it. Yeah there are shitty teachers, I have worked with a few, and their students suffer from their lack of passion for education - a far greater handicap than (in the case of my subject) poor English skills. I know the huge difference a committed and enthusiastic teacher can make in the life of a student. I dunno if that life is for me - maybe I am still too selfish, but maybe when I am a bit older and wiser. I felt kind of ashamed farewelling my students. Last year my departing kids got cards or notes. This year I was going through such a funk in the month or so before graduation that I was just going through the motions at school and scraping by with the bare minimum. Not really good enough I guess. I suppose I am lucky to have a chance to experience school life (even in it's bizarre Japanese manifestation) with out the full responsibility for the minds of these kids.
Hmmm.
But sometimes I do get to feel like I've done something cool.
When I get a note like this from one of the kids at my bullied school.
Another school year has finished. I am now on holiday.
In the final week of school we had graduation. I think I described the ceremony last year but I will do a quick recap. It is cold. And long. We spent about a week preparing to farewell the third graders, kids were making cards to give to leaving students from their clubs, making decorations for the classroom and rehearsing marching in and out of the hall for quite some time. On the day before we made the gym fit for the ceremony by meticulously measuring the distance between rows of chairs with a big tape measure. I kid you not. Since I was playing with the brass band this year I felt a lot more involved than I did at any of the ceremonies I dropped by for last year, But it had been weeks since I had had any real contact with the 3rd graders and I didn't really feel swept up in the graduation hysteria that was gripping the school... until the final parade.
After the ceremonious ceremony stuff. After all the students have gotten their certificates and bowed at all and sundry. They walk thorough the corridors while the remaining students cry, hug, take photos and thank them for their leadership and support over the past year or two. I had photos with a bunch of my kids. Some of whom I can remember the names of - others who have a nickname in my head they don't know about. And I was sad to have them go. They may not have been the easiest class I ever worked with, or the most enthusiastic, the friendliest or the smartest, but they were a good bunch who have now been dumped out of their comfort zone and out into the big bad world. And I will miss them.
The third year teachers took it pretty hard, as I guess they always do. They have worked with these students for three years and teachers here are far more involved in the life of their students than teachers back home. If a student is missing class, the homeroom teacher will visit their house. If a student is having any sort of trouble anytime, anywhere it is the teacher who is responsible. At the enkai, (the graduation after party) the homeroom teachers all talked about their time with this interesting bunch. It was amazing to hear just how much they cared for these kids who often to me didn't seem to care particularly about their own education. When the teachers watched the video messages from the students, there was hardly a dry eye in the house. Watching the ratbags sincerely thank the teachers for their patience and perseverance really helped me to understand what it takes to be a teacher, I think.
I am in awe of people who can care so much about their work and put so much of themselves into their job. Teachers get a lot of respect here, but they earn it. Yeah there are shitty teachers, I have worked with a few, and their students suffer from their lack of passion for education - a far greater handicap than (in the case of my subject) poor English skills. I know the huge difference a committed and enthusiastic teacher can make in the life of a student. I dunno if that life is for me - maybe I am still too selfish, but maybe when I am a bit older and wiser. I felt kind of ashamed farewelling my students. Last year my departing kids got cards or notes. This year I was going through such a funk in the month or so before graduation that I was just going through the motions at school and scraping by with the bare minimum. Not really good enough I guess. I suppose I am lucky to have a chance to experience school life (even in it's bizarre Japanese manifestation) with out the full responsibility for the minds of these kids.
Hmmm.
But sometimes I do get to feel like I've done something cool.
When I get a note like this from one of the kids at my bullied school.
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