Cabin fever

Well. Time seems to be passing rather quickly at the moment as time does before essays, during holidays and while playing civilisation. I have until Friday (2 days) to decide if I am going to do a second year in Japan. I went and visited the place I got the transfer to last weekend hoping that it would help me in my decision but unfortunately it hasn't. It is a nice place I am just not sure if Japan is the way for me. Next year will be another new set of people and expectations and students but without the novely factor. The point of the move is supposed to be that I will have some friends. Oh oh lonesome me.

Hmmm. In an attempt to make myself more decisive I have stopped sleeping and begun eating only peanut butter and chocolate and rice crackers. Unfortunately this has made my brain about as fast and gruntled as a guinea-pig swimming in porridge. I don't know if you have ever tried consulting a breakfast encrusted rodent on any matters of importance but I'll tell you it is no fun for either party. I just have this horrible feeling that making this decision is going to be a bit like trying to bite my elbow. Frustrating in the attempt and ultimately impossible.

I feel like a possum caught in the headlights of an approaching vehicle but instead of doing the decent thing and squishing me I just know it is going to stop and ask directions.

I know that it really doesn't matter what I do, that either decision is fine fine fine but that is probably the most discomforting thought of all - that really my year is not worth so much y'know? I'd like it to have some empirical value.

Enough rant. If, dear reader, you have any suggestions, rational or irrational, considered or cute, trite or trying, please, please give them to me. I have spent too many months alone with my thoughts and we have cabin fever.